This book does not include ostriches.

The authors regret to inform their readers that the Weird and Wacky Workbook for Recovery (a book in process) doesn’t come with music.  No drum lessons, ostriches, trips to Russia, or cruises around the world either.

Let us explain.  In the beginning, we’d hoped to share Weird and Wacky Workbook for Recovery to all who would read it, and even those who wouldn’t.  Addiction is killing people.  We wanted to make a difference.

And boy we had plans.  The book would come with a vivid and stagey soundtrack, something like Yat – Kha’s “Karangailyg Kara Khovaa.”   To round things out, we decided to include free drum lessons, 10 baby ostriches, and a trip to Russia to meet Yat-Kha personally.  The plans evolved.  Our music library grew.  Soon it included 31 songs, ranging from Mozart and Marilyn Manson to Stromae, Tiesto, and Depeche Mode.  The rest of our plans evolved too.  The drum lessons shifted into a degree in music.  The ostriches now came with a 20 acre property.  The trip to Russia transitioned into a cruise around the world times five.

It was enlightening.  We imagined our readers dancing in the candle light, prancing with our choice of music, oh-so-pleased with life — and free from drugs.  A degree reading “Doctor of Music” hung on the wall.  The ostriches watched in the background.  Souvenirs from Russia, Brazil, South Africa, and France sat on the mantle.  Addiction had been eradicated.  We’d learned how to communicate with dolphins.  We didn’t need gas to drive our cars anymore.  The universe was in harmony.  Mankind had meaning.

That didn’t happen.  The “open a book and hear music” idea was abandoned when the authors couldn’t agree on the songs.  The drum lessons drove the neighbors crazy.  The ostriches grew up and started kicking people.  The trip to Russia and cruise bottomed out our budget.  And we had no budget to start with.  (We forgot about that detail.)

So that’s why we have no music, drum lessons, ostriches, trips to Russia, or cruises around the world.

The remedy is simple enough.  Dear reader, please choose a great set of songs for your book-reading adventures, and imagine they’re from us.  Make sure the set is a life-track, something vivid and stagey, yes, but something that makes you want to dance.  Or sway a little.  Then play it often and enjoy.

As for the drum lessons, ostriches, autographed picture of Marilyn Monroe, secretary, degrees, and world trips… if you do any or get any of these, we wouldn’t mind taking credit for them too.  Especially the ostriches.  Ostriches are cool.

Thank you.

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